quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
