sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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