Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
