He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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