Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
