What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
