You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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