Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
