i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I will pee on everything he values.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
