Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
