I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
