I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
