i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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