But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
