I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
