North Korea, Best Korea!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
