I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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