I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
