I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
