i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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