Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
