areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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