What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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