WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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