like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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