so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
