Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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