Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
