the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i now understand why vodka
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
