is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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