its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
