I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
