Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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