I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
