it wasn't lemon gatorade
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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