spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
