i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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