Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
