it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
