Please, let me fuck your mom
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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