Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
