He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
