You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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