Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize