She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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