Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
