If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
