oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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