I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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