i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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