Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
