We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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