You work out of a Hotel?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
