i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
