Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
