Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
