i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
