Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize