no you cant smoke seaweed
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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