You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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