My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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