Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My vagina is officially offended.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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