i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
